December 2009
19 posts
heartbreak warfare-john mayer
Sleep..?
Sleep was the only time my conscious was allowed a reprieve. A moment to collect all the hammering thoughts and allow them to be organized and become coherent. But now, once again, I have lost it. Yet despite this unfortunate event, this winter break is awesome. I feel renewed. I feel alive. I feel in sync. I have regained my purpose and with it, my control. So maybe not all is lost.
“What...
“Our strength grows out of our weaknesses.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Truth
For awhile now I have created the impression that everything is alright. In actuality, it is not. Oh how much of an idiot have I been is indescribable. I have taken in the words of a liar who does nothing but cover the truth with more lies in order to hide from something. And here I am, the person who takes in the words of a liar like a fool. A blithering, blundering fool who is not only...
The Irony
My life is quite a practical joke. The irony of it is astounding. I am constantly reminded of how much I don’t understand. I quote a persona that gives off a sense that I know too much. I contain knowledge that should not be known by someone of my age. In truth, I know very little. I am no more naive than the person next to me, no more mature than the person next to me. I may have...
“I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune...”
– Hermann Hesse
The First Quarter of College
First off, I would like to say that I know that this is extremely overdue seeing how my first quarter ended 9 days ago. Please read this blog in the perspective that my quarter just ended. Thanks =]. Moving on. It still startles me that only 10 weeks have passed. College is like an adventure. There is the fun moments, the scary moments, the sad moments and the normal moments in general. I have...
Died Down
These past few days of winter break have been good to me. It’s given me time to reflect on what has happened my first quarter of college and believe me, a lot has happened. I’ve died down a lot. No longer am I a raging storm of emotions, a pool of endless conflicts. Here at home, I have been able to set aside my problems and just enjoy life. Yet when I do venture ever so bravely to...
Home
It’s safe to say that I spoke to soon when I said my home was no longer my home. It is more like that oasis you find out in the desert. The El Dorado that we wish to discover. The utopia we all seek. I’ve found peace here at home more than anywhere else since going off to college. Maybe it is because of the separation that draw me back. Whatever it is, I’ve had 6 days of the best...
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I’m at a lost of words for how I’m feeling. It’s just a jumble of emotions and thoughts all crammed together screaming to be let out. So rather than having anything coherent, I’ll just talk about everything on my mind.
-start-
Sometimes I wonder if it was better that I hadn’t met her. Sometimes I wonder if everything would have been more simple that way. For both of...
SLEEP
It’s amazing how well I’ve slept ever since coming back home. Quite interesting actually. Here I am thinking before that my home was no longer my home and that I felt more comfortable in riverside and yet, I sleep the best back at home. Strange indeed. Riverside is still my home for now but I think I miss my old home more than I think. Maybe because there is no longer any drama or...
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It...”
– Neil Gaiman (Submitted by: seraphicangel) (via quote-book) (via beatr1ce)
Lol! this made me laugh. I don’t know why. maybe because it’s so true. OK maybe I lied about not blogging alot. I’ll be blogging frequently this winter break. =]
Winter Break
I’m back home in Arcadia now which starts the beginning of my winter break. Therefore with this in mind, I doubt that I’ll be blogging again anytime soon. Maybe I’ll come back from time to time but not often. Hopefully this winter break will be filled with lots of good memories that I can share later on but until January 4th, to all my readers out there, I say see you in three...
When you’re dreaming with a broken heart ...
Feeling
I haven’t blogged recently because in truth there isn’t much to blog about. My situation hasn’t changed. I’m still caught in this conflict with myself which I doubt will go away. One thing that has happened that may be a sign of progress is that it’s easier to look at her now. It still hurts to see her and talk to her daily but not as much. Will this feeling go away...
Confused
You say you like me but how come I always feel like I mean nothing to you. You say you like talking to me but how come I always feel like I never know what you’re thinking. You say you like spending time with me but how come I never get to see you. You say we should just be good friends but how come I’m not satisfied and want to be more than just friend.
I try to make things normal...
Better Days
I’ve begun to doubt myself a lot lately. Doubting my existence. Doubting why I am here. Doubting what my purpose is. Everything’s become such a blur to me that it’s hard to focus. Is it even worth it anymore. All this struggling. All this effort to get something that I’m not even certain is achievable anymore. What is my purpose? Where do I stand amongst those who have...
Back
It’s back again. This unnerving feeling in my stomach. This feeling that something is out of place, out of sync, out of course. Why? Why this feeling? Everything has being going so well for so long. Thanksgiving weekend was the longest break that I had where I wasn’t worried about anything. I finally thought that I was being paranoid and everything would be ok but it’s back.
It...